7 July 2010

Uncomfortable Silence

Blackpool Pier
When I started this blog I never intended to write about trying to conceive. It’s been such a roller coaster of emotion that it leaves me feeling exhausted and empty, not exactly the most cheerful frame of mind from which to write. So I thought I’d keep it to myself, I mean no one wants to read or listen to someone whinging and whining all the time. The last week though I’ve had chance to reconsider. The first was something I read over on Josie’s Blogging Manifesto at Sleep is For the Weak:
4. Good writing, good content comes with practice and with authenticity. Yes, that word. It is about writing from where you are at. It is about writing honestly about the things that matter to YOU. That means not being afraid to write about pain. It is not about being perfect. If you don’t feel like blogging, don’t blog.

10. And, which is what I said in my talk and I’ll say it again here: blogging is ABOUT your life, it is NOT your life. Your blog will be soulless and boring if you are not getting out there and living. So switch off you computers and go and do something different and fun.
I’ve realised that for the last year trying to start a family has been my life. If I try and avoid a subject that’s winding its way through every aspect of living, of course I’m going to feel boring and soulless. I can’t speak freely or truly when there are huge fields of banned territory.
Secondly, I’m frustrated by how little information is out there. It’s a common problem thousands of couples face, yet it feels like a taboo subject no one talks about. It’s so painful that we all stand silently, isolated and alone, when people all around understand and sympathise.
This week we were completely convinced I was pregnant...only to be disappointed again. After trying for twelve months now, it’s finally time to go visit the doctor. It seems like a good starting place for a blog.