23 November 2011

2 years, 5 months

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I am so jealous of women whose cycle runs like clockwork. Since we started trying to conceive my cycle has run anything from 22 – 30 days long. It makes that two week wait completely maddening, knowing things can start at any moment. Of course it is also affected by stress, and a bad month can short my cycle dramatically.

It looks like skipping the Clomid last month was a good idea, as this cycle has been one of my shortest at just 23 days long. Unfortunately this means our best TTC days will be right around a big nasty appeal date. After all that stress I really doubt I’ll be in an amorous mood.

While the first months can be fun, trying to conceive often begins to feel more like work as the years go by. It doesn’t matter what you have planned, if that date ends up with a big red circle around it you have to perform. So what do you do when you’ve got a pounding headache or you’d rather just curl up and go to sleep?

First we try to break the routine. We take some time for ourselves; maybe go out for dinner or a film. If you’re trying to save your pennies, you could make a special meal at home. I love sharing an intimate meal - things like tapas, dim sum, or a baked Camembert can make an easy fondue. I normally don’t drink, so even a single glass of Bailey’s can sometimes be enough to pull me out of my rut.

Another good tool can be romantic films or erotic fiction, which can act as a bit of foreplay for your mind. It doesn’t have to be a sappy chick flick either, we were surprised to find the flirty banter in Mr & Mrs Smith was enough to improve our mood - anything that can help remind you there was more to sex before you were TTC.

I’ve also found putting the effort into dressing up nicely can help. It’s far easier to feel sexy when you know you’re looking your best. (Though maybe this only works if you’re normally a scruffy thing like me.)

So there are my three tips for when TTC feels like too much work. Do any of you have some tricks I’ve not thought of yet? With a possibly long road ahead...I may need them!

This was originally published on the Emma's Diary Blog.