A few days after my last post, we were scheduled for a seven week scan to hopefully find a heartbeat.
I've been feeling quite guilty, in that I've finally achieved what so many IVF patients dream of - but rather than being thrilled I've just continued to worry. We still haven't shared our good news with our families and I'm still dreading the prospect of doing so. Last week I decided to see how other people had announced their pregnancy after IVF.
A quick Google revealed I wasn't alone. After all the disappointments of IVF and trying to conceive naturally, it seemed plenty of people are reluctant to trust their luck. Quiet a few waited four or five months before announcing, while some never did! They just went from not pregnant to heavily pregnant with no acknowledgement in between.
One story struck me however. She'd waited till at least five months before announcing, and if she had to do it again she wouldn't. While there were plenty of reasons to worry, telling or not telling wasn't going to affect the outcome of her pregnancy. Instead worry robbed her of the excitement and joy of those early months -plus the support of others.
So I've decided though I can't stop the worry completely, I can stop it from controlling me. Now that we're past the seven weeks scan the odds are in our favour and I've decided to assume things will be fine. There's obviously no guarantee, but there's no reason to torture myself with the possibility.
While we will wait a few more week's to tell my husband's family, that's because there is a big family event where we can tell them all in person, but my parents I'll tell the next time I speak with them.
One thing that has surprised me, is the wonderful support I've had from my Women's Institute ladies (who read my blog and so are in on the secret!) It was completely unexpected, and has really helped me appreciate our good luck - even if it lasts just a short while.
I'm coming to the conclusion there isn't a right time or a wrong time to tell people - but never under estimate the support you may find in unexpected places.
This was originally written for the Emma's Diary Blog.